This Product Has Been Tested on Humans

Fair warning: this post is not about human food.

I mean, it could be, but that might get weird.

We're going to talk about critters!

awkward family photo.

These are my critters, Sprinkles the cat (10?) and Juniper the cattle dog mix (1.5).

Right now Sprinkles is very sick and in the kitty hospital. She has a messed up heart and it's causing a bunch of other problems. She's in good care at Veterinary Medical and Surgical Group in Ventura.  Though I'm worried about her, I know she isn't suffering right now, so I'm trying to look on the bright side. Juniper, however, has been moping all over the place because her favorite kitty is not home. As much as Juni thinks cats are for chasing, she knows that Sprinkles is alpha and runs the show. Smart puppy.

So I wanted to do something nice for my sad puppy that misses her kitty friend. Ya know, other than rescue her from the pound and stuff. So I baked for her!

These treats are not grain-free, but they are 100% natural and 1000000x  better than what you can buy at PetSmart for you dog. Plus, they are really tasty. I checked.

Natural Dog Treats
two dozen

1 small or 1/2 large granny smith apple, roughly chopped
1 medium banana, roughly chopped
1/4 c. egg whites (2-3, depending on size of egg)
3 tbsp creamy natural peanut butter (ingredients: peanuts.)
1.25-1.5 cups rolled oats

Preheat oven to 350F
In a food processor, puree apple and banana until it looks like baby food

Transfer to a bowl and stir in peanut butter and egg whites

Stir in oats

Scoop with a tablespoon or melon baller onto a cooking sheet

Bake for 25 minutes

Let cool before giving to fido!

we're very good at "leave it"

Okay, eat!

sorry about the slobber on the carpet, mom!

You could also add parsley and/or mint to this recipe to help clean up stinky dog breath and aid digestion.

Ps I totally plan on eating these for breakfast. Stop judging me.

Here are some invaluable resources for dog owners. Bookmark em!
Toxic foods for dogs - if I see one more person feed a dog a grape, I am going to kill someone.
Dog Food Ratings - see how your brand measures up!

Obedience Training

Somethings require me to exercise more self control than I know that I possess. This problem runs in the family. If my dad is presented with a box of cookies, it is a personal challenge for him to finish off the box before the sun rises. He alway prevails. This is why I do not bake. It's nearly impossible to resist something so delectable. I know another family member who can relate:

"leave it!"

It's not that self control can't be taught.... It can. See:

Sometime you just have to look away from that delicious treat on the floor ...er... kitchen counter.... Whatever.

But come on, I've been good, I've been patient. Can't I please have just one?!?! Pretty please??!?

puppy eyes!

I'll be self-restrained. I'll be good. Promise.

I promise to be good afterwards. Just one treat, then i'll pack em up and give em away.  I'll even shake on it. 

Well then, okay.

This is why I don't bake for myself. But I will gladly bake for others. It's a good thing the world has Jessica from the most entertaining cooking blog on the web, How Sweet It Is. Otherwise, the world would never see this ridonculous cookie recipe. This recipe is made special by two techniques: melted salted butter and the stacking method. To form the cookies, roll a 2 tbsp lump into a ball, rip the ball in half, and stack the pieces on the baking sheet like a deformed snowman. And do not, do not, do not overcook.

 Instead of m&m's, I filled my cookies with white chocolate chips and mini peanut butter cups from trader joe's, which PS are excellent frozen and even more excellent not within my reach.

get out of my house

I baked these treasures for a kind and wonderful coworker, er, ex-coworker, since I have now re-established unemployment. More on that another time, maybe.

 And yes, folks, I used self-restraint and only ate ONE. And it was awesome.

Is it Fall yet?

Yesterday morning was painfully chilly, as is this morning. I think Fall is coming! Things that make Fall wonderful include sweaters, boots, Sprinkles the cat sleeping on my pillow when it's cold, and Fall-y foods. Yeah, Fall-y foods. Like pumpkin oats!!!


Pumpkin Oats
Make on the weekend for a full week of oat-y goodness. Good cold or hot!


Ingredients

• 1/2 c. pure pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling...see Trader Joe's) 
• 1/2 c. oat bran
• 1/2 c. rolled oats
• 1 cup soy milk (or other milk of your liking)
• 1 cup water
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp agave syrup or maple syrup

Directions

• In a medium sauce pan, bring milk and water to boil
• Stir in oats and oat bran
• Add salt, spices and vanilla
• Lower heat to medium-low and stir occasionally to keep from sticking to pan
• Once oats have begun to thicken up, stir in pumpkin
• After 3-4 minutes, oats will be fully cooked. Sweeten to your preference with agave, maple syrup, or whatever sweetener you like best. Or don't sweeten at all. Whatever.

I made Apple Oats Brulee on this occasion... All you need is a small apple, some cinnamon sugar, and extra agave or maple syrup.

These aren't too pretty, which is why I didn't take too many pics. But they're mighty tasty.

 Slice apple and line the bottom of a ramekin. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.

 Nuke for one minute, but if you have time on your hands, the broiler would be preferred.

Pour over as many hot oats as you want. Drizzle with syrup and sprinkle with more cinnamon sugar.

Put under the broiler (on high) for 5 minutes, or until topping is bubbly. You have to add a lot of sugar and torch it to get the crust like a real creme brulee, but this is a health-centric blog and I do not suggest eating four tablespoons of pure sugar in your breakfast. This topping will still be soft, but pretty and tasty! Garnish with more apple.

 

I spy Sprinkles the cat. Sitting somewhere she probably should not...

Remind me about this moment when I sit at the dining table next time.  This is why they make placemats.

French art: "Derriere du chat sur la table"

Another great way to eat Pumpkin Oats is to layer them cold with vanilla greek yogurt. I don't like to buy pre-flavored greek yogurt because its usually sweetened with sugar and full of calories. I just add vanilla extract and stevia to taste.  Then layer cold pumpkin oats with yogurt. Sprinkle in some nuts or granola every few layers for crunch! 

Why oat bran and rolled oats?

I personally like the texture. Both offer crazy amounts of fiber and protein, but oat bran has more vitamins and minerals than the rolled oats. Pure oat bran is a bit too mushy on it's own, so the oatmeal helps with the texture to make it more interesting. Heather at Heather Eats Almond Butter did a great comparison of the two, so I won't step on her toes. Go check that out.

Happy Thursday!