Remember me?

It's been four months since my last blog. Forgive me.


I've been kinda busy.

A bunch has happened. Got a degree, moved, got a job, lost a pet. All pretty big deals (to me).

So here it is another new year. I've got resolutions that include doing this blog thing sometimes (among many other things). Apparently I feel very resolved this year cause I have a lot of resolutions. None of which I have written done or even typed up. (PS why do we write down and type up?) The resolutions are all in this little head of mine. Maybe they'll make it to the blog. Maybe.

I made you treats (healthy treats!) to make up for all that lost time. And yeah, I shot these with my shitty camera phone, cause I haven't used my camera for umpteen millions days and it's dead. And I don't plan ahead. 

Hot 'n Spicy Chocolate Balls

just kidding.

Raw/No Bake Chocolate Chili Truffles
6 truffles

1/4 c. cashews
pinch o salt
sprinkle o cinnamon
sprinkle o cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
10 pitted dried dates

Add cashews to food processor.

Sprinkle in salt (love my bull terrier salt shaker!)

Sprinkle in spices and flavors.

Add 1 tsp of the cocoa.

And dates.

Process for about 20-40 seconds.

Or until you reach a fine quinoa-like consistency

Scoop out by the loosely packed tablespoon.

Roll into a ball.

And drop into a shallow bowl with remaining 1/2 tsp. cocoa. 

Once all balls are in the bowl, shake the bowl around to coat the truffles.

Pop in the freezer for 1-2 hours to set.

See, I didn't forget about you. I brought you chocolates. 

Saucy

Things are about to get saucy up in here. 

"Why do I need sauce?", you ask.

"For many reasons", I reply:

• Topping ice cream
• Topping soft serve
• Swirling into plain or flavored yogurt
• Drizzling over cake
• Filling cupcakes
• Dipping cookies
• Dipping fruit (probably a better choice than that last one...)
• Swirling into plain oatmeal
• Drizzling on smoothies
• Latte flavoring and garnishing
• Cocktail flavoring and garnishing
• Eating by the spoonful when nobody is looking

So here are two sauces to blow the lid off your taste buds. Or something. 

Raspberry Chambord Sauce

makes two cups

1 16 oz. bag frozen raspberries, defrosted

2 tbsp white sugar

5 tbsp Chambord or high quality raspberry liquor, divided

Add raspberries, sugar, and 2 tbsp Chambord to a small sauce pan. 

Bring to a boil and reduce to low heat. Simmer for 10 minutes, then remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes. Stir in remaining Chambord.

Jar that business. 

You want a second sauce? Mmmmmkay.

Fudgy Chocolate Sauce
makes 1 1/2 cups


1 1/4 c. bittersweet chocolate chips
3/4 c. whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp creme de cacao, or chocolate liqueur of choice

In a microwavable bowl, combine chocolate chips and cream.

If your microwave has a melt setting, AWESOME! Set to melt and stir every 30 seconds. If not, microwave the mixture for 10 second increments.

Once all is melted, add in extracts and liqueurs, and stir until smooth.

Jar it.

As the sauce cools, it will thicken to a fudgy consistency. Great for sundaes! If you want a thinner sauce (like Hershey's syrup), add in a bit more cream or milk until you're happy.

Both of these sauces should keep for a week or two in the fridge.

If you can resist that long.

Social Media Cookies

For the last ten weeks, I've been in a Social Media Marketing class as part of my Marketing MBA at CLU. It's been the most interesting class I've had yet and I'm sad to end the course. Shout out to my wonderful professor, Teri Thompson, for a fun semester! Thanks, Teri! Now, go buy her book. 

Anywho, my classmates have been aware of the fact that I like to cook and after holding out on my kitchen creations all semester, I chose to reward them for their patience with cookies. But not any old cookie!

I have a tin of tahini that I haven't found a great use for, so I figured I could use it like peanut butter in cookies. It's a seed butter, so that's kind of like a nut butter. Tahini has a nutty, slightly bitter taste and it pairs beautifully with sweet and spicy ginger and smooth and rich chocolate. Add in oats for health factor and sesame seeds for pizazz and you've got Social Media cookies!

Tahini Ginger Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies AKA "Social Media" Cookies
15 cookies


1 c. old fashion rolled oats
1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. tahini
2 tbsp butter, softened
2/3 c. brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg, or equivalent of egg subsitute
1 tbsp sesame seeds
2/3 c. semi-sweet or dark chocolate chips
1/3 c. chopped candied ginger (not crystallized - visit Trader Joe's)

 Preheat oven to 350F.

In one bowl, combine flour, oats, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt.

In another bowl, mix tahini and butter together until smooth.

Add sugar, vanilla extract, and egg and mix until smooth.

Stir in dry ingredients.

Add then stir in the goodies!

Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet and bake for 11 minutes.

When done baking remove sheet from oven and let cookies sit on sheet for 2 minutes, then carefully transfer to a cooling rack.

The cookies will finish setting up as they cool - about 10 minutes.

Try to resist the screaming hot melty chocolate.

But you don't have to resist too long.

Knowledge never tasted so good.

Do You Like Coconut?

If I ever ask you that question, I'm not trying to make convo, I'm doing research.

I asked my dad this morning, since it is his birthday. I do not fool you.

So he got cupcakes. Somewhat healthy, mostly not.

Chocolate Cupcakes with Cinnamon Coconut Buttercream

sixteen cupcakes

Chocolate cake mix (18 oz - if you use TJ's brand, remove 1 cup of mix)

1 can pure pumpkin

1 stick salted butter

1 3/4 cup powdered sugar

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp coconut extract

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

3-5 tbsp nonfat milk

1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut

To make cupcakes, combine cake mix and pumpkin

That's it! Nothing more. Beat with an electric mixer for 1 minute.

Divide batter into 16 cupcakes lined with a festive paper and bake for 25 minutes at 350F

Meanwhile, sift sugar and cocoa powder

Cream stick of softened butter

Cream until it's nice and fluffy

Add sifted sugar and cocoa powder and beat on super low so you don't have a dust storm

Add cinnamon, coconut extract, and vanilla extract and keep beating! You can increase speed to medium as soon as it all comes together.

Add milk in tablespoon increments until frosting is the desired consistency. Fluffy and creamy!

Line a cup with a ziploc bag and fill with frosting. Instant piping bag!

While cupcakes are cooling on a cooling rack, spread coconut on a baking sheet

Bake in oven for 10 minutes or so, but check every few minutes. Coconut toasts FAST!

When cupcakes are cool, pipe on a swirl of frosting, a dusting of cinnamon and a sprinkle of toasted coconut.

It's like german chocolate cake, but better.

These cupcakes are incredible! The cake stays super moist when you use pumpkin. It's my favorite baking trick. The pumpkin adds fiber, too. Bonus!

These will be all gone in 5....4....3....2.....gone!

Happy bday, fool.

St Patdtdy's Day

Patty?

Paddy?

My bra is paddy. My burger has a patty.

Tomorrow everybody is Irish.


I wrote that poem myself. You're welcome.

Moving on: cupcakes!

Let's make 'em boozy. Cause hell... why not? Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Guinness Cupcakes with Baileys Glaze
Makes 18


Ingredients

• Cake
• 1 box chocolate cake mix (one that says it's super moist because there is pudding in the mix)
• 1 bottle + 1/4 c. guinness extra stout, or any other stout or porter that you like

• Glaze
• 1/4 c. Bailey's Irish Cream
• 1/2 c. powdered sugar
• 1/4 tsp. guar gum (sounds weird, but it helps thicken and smooth without having to use more sugar)
• green food coloring and sprinkles if you want your mouth to turn green

mmmm. or you can just have a cold glass of this?

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350F
• In a bowl, whisk together cake mix and beer. Nothing else.

• Whisk for two minutes. And just whisk with your own arm, cause you're about to eat a butt ton of cupcakes and you want to burn every calorie you possibly can RIGHT NOW.

• Pour by low 1/4 c. scoops into lined muffin tins.

• Bake for 23 minutes, or until tooth pick comes out clean.
• Meanwhile, whisk together irish cream, sugar, and guar gum. Use your muscles!
• When cupcakes are done, remove from pan and let cool at least ten minutes before glazing. 

• To glaze, dip cupcakes in glaze and then flip em over. 

Because the recipe doesn't use the eggs that cake mixes usually call for, the cake is SUPER moist and soft. These still have that bitter beer taste, which I personally love, but if you're more of a sweet beer person, then try a chocolate porter instead of guinness extra stout. If you don't drink, use coke or root beer or dr pep. Side note, I do NOT like Guinness. Tastes like a dirty trash receptacle in a las vegas dive bar. This extra stout business? DELICIOUS.

And that is how you become Irish for one day.