Artichoke Pesto Flatbread

I've recently discovered the joy of no-cheese pizzas. And I realize how crazy this sounds from someone who has previously rattled on and ON about the joys of all things cheese. I mean, cheese defines me.  Well, it DID at least. I haven't purchased cheese in 2 months. (Read: this is huge). I've had some sprinklings here and there, but nothing like I used to... and nothing like my childhood, when my parents would find string cheese wrappers like breadcrumbs in the wake of my dairy destruction...

Making pizza at home means topping it with whatever. I had a beet pizza a few weeks ago. But this one was the best, so here I am to share. Because sharing is caring!

Artichoke Flatbread Pizza

8 servings

1 can artichoke hearts packed in water

2 tbsp basil pesto

1 package whole wheat pizza dough

1/2 red onion, thinly sliced in rings

1 cup sliced mushrooms

2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley

1/4 c. pitted kalamata olives, chopped

Preheat oven according to dough instructions (450F is usually on the money). Let pizza dough hang out on the counter to come to room temp and relax.

Pop open artichokes and drain. Quickly chop up with a food processor to a fine dice.

Saute over med-high heat for 5 minutes. This will help to evaporate extra water and soften up artichokes.

Remove from heat and stir in pesto. 

yeah, this pesto has parm in it. sneaky sneaky. but it was already in my fridge when i started this "no dairy" thing, so give me cred for not being wasteful, plz.

Roll out pizza dough on a floured pan using your fancy rolling pin (ikea glass).

Bake for 4-5 minutes, or until lightly brown. Sometimes it gets a giant bubble, just poke a hole in that to steam vent.

Spread artichoke pesto mixture evenly on crust.

Top with onion, mushroom, parsley, and olives.

And bake for another 10-15 minutes, or until onions are soft, crust is crispy, and mushrooms are shrivel-y.

Slice er up and serve with a big salad!

What cheese?

Cajun Boil

When I was a kid my family and I took a few trips to Lake Shasta and stayed on a houseboat with my aunt and uncle and other extended family members. We saw bears, tons of deer, caught some fish, and inadvertently went rafting (in a houseboat...) I was just young enough to not really remember those trips now, but I do have memories from the photographs I've seen, not to mention the trauma from the rafting incident. Just teasing, Uncle Gary!

The first time I had this meal was on one of those house boat trips. I don't remember the first meal because I was too young, but my family has had this hundreds of times since then. It's a really fun meal, especially for a group. But this isn't a fine dining sort of meal... it involves newspapers and piles of shrimp shells.

Cajun Boil
for 6


1 Zatarain's Crawfish, Shrimp, & Crab Boil in Bag
6 ears of corn
12 red potatoes
1 large bag of fresh or frozen, shell on, raw shrimp
8 spicy sausage links (like chicken andouille)
6-12 sourdough rolls, depending on your carb neediness
condiments: ketchup, horseradish, a selection of mustards and hot sauces, salt, pepper, butter

Add crab boil bag to the most giant pot you have (like industrial size huge) and fill 5" below rim with water.

You might call it a cauldron.

Prep corn by breaking into halves, or thirds, depending on your forearm strength.

Wash and scrub potatoes. Dry, pierce with a fork, and pre-cook in microwave on a plate for 12 minutes, or until cooked evenly.

Get your other ingredients ready. Rinse off shrimp (nobody likes frozen shrimp ice sauce).

And cut sausages into halves.

Water should be boiling away at this point!

Add in sausage and cook 2-3 minutes, or until just starting to plump up.

Add corn. Cook 4-5 minutes, or until a little brighter yellow.

Add shrimp. Cook about 5 minutes, or until they float and are red and opaque.

Prep your table! This is the fun part. The first layer (which you can't see) is a cut open trash bag. This protects the table from juices. Then put a few layers of newspaper, making sure you use the newspaper for placemats. Then finally, a layer of paper towels. You could use dish towels too. We make a ring of potatoes. It's kinda blair witchy.

Drain the boil!

And dump that shit on the table!

Now go be a pig and eat with your hands. Yum!

Goat Cheesy Pasta

When I was in college my roommates and I had a few serious vices.

• Frozen yogurt loaded to the max
• Mean Girls, the movie
• Blended margaritas (it was just one spring quarter... okay, maybe longer)
• TiVo'd episodes of The Biggest Loser

Yes, we were on college budgets and we made sure there was room for a DVR. Priorities. Totally came in handy during the High School Musical craze. 

Anywho, if you're a fan of the Biggest Loser circa 5 years ago then you know who Bob Harper is... He's the hot southern trainer guy who, like Anderson Cooper, does not appear to be his actual age. Bob is nearly 50. Mind. Blown. One of my regular blog reads did an interview with him here.

Anyway, he just came out with a book called The Skinny Rules. I would read it, but my sister already informed me that one of the rules is "no carbs after lunch" or some craziness like that, and so I just don't want to know any more. Sure, following the skinny rules would probably be a great benefit to your life. So would following any other arbitrary set of food restrictions. But that's what that is: restriction. It's not moderation. And that's the key for my happy food relationship. To each his own.

So here is a big pile of carbs, to be eaten post-lunch.

Sun-Dried Tomato, Mushroom, and Spinach Goat Cheese Pasta

serves six

1 bag linguine

salt

2 cup reserved hot pasta water

1 tbsp EVOO

1 shallot, minced

2 cloves garlic, minced

3 cups mushrooms, sliced

6 cups fresh spinach

1/3 c. sun-dried tomatoes in oil

6 oz. goat cheese

Bring 2 quarts of water to a boil in a large pot and salt heavily. This is the key to delicious pasta. Or don't if you have a heart condition...

When pasta is finished, drain and set aside. Reserve 2 cups of hot starchy pasta water and toss the rest of the water.

Mince things that make you cry while you watch your noodles boil.

Add EVOO to empty pot over med-high heat. Saute garlic and shallot for 2-3 minutes, or until soft.

Add mushrooms, a pinch of salt to help them sweat, and a few tablespoons of pasta water to help them steam. Saute for 2 minutes.

Add spinach and tomatoes. Reduce heat to medium low.

Saute for 2 minutes or so or until spinach is wilted.

Add back in the pasta and the goat cheese. Pour over pasta water in 1/4 c. increments and toss until you are satisfied with the creaminess. You won't need all the pasta water.

The hot water and noodles will melt the goat cheese and create a sort of alfredo-like sauce.

Amazing!

Serve with bread and toast to the skinny rules. 

BB & BS B's

Today's recipe is for BB & BS B's... which translates to black bean and butternut squash burritos. And it is my new favorite food.

I have had this recipe pinned/bookmarked/evernoted since I laughably tried veganism for that one week. Minus a couple days. The original recipe for Black Bean and Butternut Squash Burritos comes from Oh She Glows. I mixed it up by adding spinach and de-vegan'd it by adding cheese. Like I do best.



It may sound like a weird combo, and def not the solution to a Mexican food craving, but trust me, it's good. I had this three ways: as a burrito, as crunchy taco's, and as a breakfast burrito. It would also be great in a burrito bowl, as soft tacos, on crackers, on a bed of lettuce, in a quesadilla, and probably many other ways. And it's super good for you, too! Oh, the fiber! The moral of the story is that it's very delicious and I encourage you to give it a taste!

BB & BS B's
six servings


Filling
1 tbsp EVOO
1 yellow onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup cooked brown rice
1 bag baby spinach
3 cups diced butternut squash
juice of 1 lime

Suggested extras
flour tortillas
sliced avocado
nonfat plain greek yogurt
shredded mexican cheese
chopped cilantro
red salsa
hot sauce

If you have superfluous amounts of free time, I would suggest roasting the butternut in a 400F oven for half an hour. But if ya don't have said free time, then nuke the butternut for 5 minutes in a steaming bag.

Meanwhile, heat EVOO over med-high heat. Saute onion and garlic.

Once softened, add seasonings. You may substitute your favorite taco seasoning for spices.

Add black beans, bell pepper, and brown rice. Saute for 5 minutes over medium, stirring occasionally to keep from sticking.

Add bag of spinach to the pan. Fold in. It will wilt to nothingness in about 4 minutes.

Add butternut and let everything get all happy. Taste for salt needs. Add lime juice and make sure everything gets nice and mixed around. You could squish the butternut or some of it to change the texture of the filling.

I made the perfect burrito with the BB & BS B mixture, avocado, salsa, shredded cheese, and greek yogurt.

Roll that business up and you've got a party.

And now I'm sad cause I ate all the leftovers for breakfast.

Stuffed Chicken Breast and Lemony Polenta

Chicken breast can get super boring unless you can stay super creative. I think this is the precise reason why "they" made Pinterest. You could look at about three bajillion different ways to cook chicken breast and never get bored. When I get sucked into the Pinterest vortex I get to the point where my hand starts cramping from scrolling on my trackpad. I try using my left hand for a while, but then I realize that it's probably a physiological indication that I need to back up from the internet machine. Sometimes I get so pathetic that I just hit the space bar to page down. This is real life.

The moral of the story is this: when life hands you left over arugula, make the following meal.

This recipe can serve as a template - change what you stuff the chicken with, change how you flavor your polenta, go bonkers. But this polenta...you must try it this way at least once.

Stuffed Chicken Breast with Creamy Lemon Polenta
for 4


Chicken

• 1 tbsp EVOO
• 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, pounded to 1/2" thin
• Salt and pepper 
• 4 oz. smoked mozzarella, sliced into 1 oz. slices
• 2 c. fresh arugula
• 1/2 c. roasted red bell peppers, drained
• 1/4 c. sun dried tomatoes in oil, drained
• 1/4 c. chicken broth

Polenta

• 1 1/2 c. 1% milk
• 2 1/2 c. chicken broth
• 2 tsp lemon pepper
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 c. polenta
• 1 tbsp lemon EVOO (or 1 tbsp EVOO + 1/2 tsp lemon zest)

We will start with chicken and once it is in the oven we will start the polenta. It's all about timing when you're trying to look pro. 

Preheat oven to 375 F.

In a food processor, process red bell peppers and sun dried tomatoes until it's a tapenade-like consistency.  Note: You could substitute a jarred red pesto for an easier way. TJ's version has basil and my guinea pig dinner company was allergic. 

Profess your love to this cheese.

And set up an assembly line. Note the cute little birdy toothpick thingy.

On the inside of each chicken breast, season with S&P and layer 1 tbsp red pepper/sun dried tomato mixture, slice of cheese, and bunch of arugula. Roll up and secure shut with 2-3 strategically placed toothpicks.

Heat EVOO in a frying pan over high heat and sear chicken on all sides until golden.

Move chicken to a baking dish. Deglaze the frying pan with chicken broth. Pour broth magic over the chicken, then top each roll with what is left of the pepper/tomato mixture.

Nestle any extra arugula around the chicken and bake in the oven for 20-30 minutes, depending on the size of your chicken breasts. When time is up, either sacrifice once to check for doneness or use a meat thermometer to confirm thorough cooking.

Moving on to polenta.

I follow the recipe on the bag for proportions, but have my own method. Once the liquid is boiling, it actually only takes about 5 minutes to finish the polenta. So time yourself accordingly.

My new crack dust:

Bring milk, chicken broth, lemon pepper, and salt to a boil.

Pour in the polenta.

Pay attention when trying to take the above shot, because you might burn your hand, flinch, and fling polenta all the eff over the kitchen.

Bring back up to a boil, then reduce heat to super duper low (I remove from heat for 10 seconds, then back on for 10 seconds). And stir, stir, stir. You can't walk away from polenta. It will come together quick! Once it's thick, swirl in EVOO and stir briskly. Remove from heat, and serve immediately.

Fun fact: I bought that bag of polenta in 2010. It has lived in three cities with me.