St Patdtdy's Day

Patty?

Paddy?

My bra is paddy. My burger has a patty.

Tomorrow everybody is Irish.


I wrote that poem myself. You're welcome.

Moving on: cupcakes!

Let's make 'em boozy. Cause hell... why not? Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Guinness Cupcakes with Baileys Glaze
Makes 18


Ingredients

• Cake
• 1 box chocolate cake mix (one that says it's super moist because there is pudding in the mix)
• 1 bottle + 1/4 c. guinness extra stout, or any other stout or porter that you like

• Glaze
• 1/4 c. Bailey's Irish Cream
• 1/2 c. powdered sugar
• 1/4 tsp. guar gum (sounds weird, but it helps thicken and smooth without having to use more sugar)
• green food coloring and sprinkles if you want your mouth to turn green

mmmm. or you can just have a cold glass of this?

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350F
• In a bowl, whisk together cake mix and beer. Nothing else.

• Whisk for two minutes. And just whisk with your own arm, cause you're about to eat a butt ton of cupcakes and you want to burn every calorie you possibly can RIGHT NOW.

• Pour by low 1/4 c. scoops into lined muffin tins.

• Bake for 23 minutes, or until tooth pick comes out clean.
• Meanwhile, whisk together irish cream, sugar, and guar gum. Use your muscles!
• When cupcakes are done, remove from pan and let cool at least ten minutes before glazing. 

• To glaze, dip cupcakes in glaze and then flip em over. 

Because the recipe doesn't use the eggs that cake mixes usually call for, the cake is SUPER moist and soft. These still have that bitter beer taste, which I personally love, but if you're more of a sweet beer person, then try a chocolate porter instead of guinness extra stout. If you don't drink, use coke or root beer or dr pep. Side note, I do NOT like Guinness. Tastes like a dirty trash receptacle in a las vegas dive bar. This extra stout business? DELICIOUS.

And that is how you become Irish for one day. 

3.14159 ...

Happy Pi Day!!!

A couple months ago my Aunt Linda emailed me with a challenge: make something with rhubarb. Harder than it sounds, peeps. There's rhubarb strawberry pie... and then.... yeah, that's it. You can find recipes for rhubarb things online but they are nearly all covered in sugar and/or pastry. We can do better than that.

Well today we did do better than that.

Pie? Not so healthy. Crumble? Still not healthy. Crisp? OK, still not healthy per se, but we can healthify it. Omit sugar, use coconut oil instead of butter, use whole grains, etc.

This recipe was inspired by Ina Garten's recipe, is kinda like pie, and uses rhubarb. Win, win, win.

Coconut Rhubarb Crisp
for four / 8 WW P+ each


Ingredients

• Filling
• 2 cups rhubarb, sliced in little half moons
• 2 cups strawberries, halved and sliced
• 2 cups granny smith apple, diced
• 2 tbsp sugar (use more if your berries and apple are not very sweet)
• zest of 1 orange
• juice of said orange
• 2 tsp corn starch
• Crisp
• 1/3 c. whole wheat flour
• 3 tbsp brown sugar
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 3/4 c. oats
• 1/2 c. sweetened shredded coconut
• 1/4 c. coconut oil, in solid state

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350F
• In one bowl, combine fruit, 2 tbsp sugar, and orange zest

so sweet right now

• In a little bowl, combine juice of the orange and corn starch

fresh from the yard!

• Pour starchy OJ over fruit and toss well

• In another bowl, combine all ingredients

• Use two butter knives to cut coconut oil into the mixture without melting it

• Once the coconut oil is in tiny pieces you can use your finger tips to finish the job
• You want to be able to squeeze a chunk of the crisp and have it stay together

• Split fruit mixture among 4 ramekins
• Top with 1/3 c. crisp topping and press flat
• Bake for 45 minutes or until golden, bubbly, and yumtastic

I know what I'm eating for dinner tonight. 

Intervention

Dear Crazy Self,

Recently you've been acting like a crazy person when you reach for salad dressing. Ever since you discovered Goddess dressing you've been eating a superfluous amount of vegetables with a psychotic enthusiasm. I worry about you because you are so enamored with Goddess dressing that you get really excited about spinach. Who gets excited about spinach? I don't think you're taking advantage of all the other great salad toppings in the world, and I think you deserve to have variety in your life. While I'm very happy that you and Goddess dressing have found each other, I really think you need to take a step back and assess the situation. I understand that it's going to be difficult. Goddess dressing is available at any grocery store, and does come in a just-as-delicious Light version by Annie's. 

      

I understand that it is good on every vegetable ever, as a sandwich condiment, with tacos, with noodles, over rice, and obviously tossed with a spinach salad. But that doesn't mean that you need it at every meal. Those tart lemony and savory tahini flavors are addictive and I really think you should seek some outside help. It's not healthy for you to make lists in your head of all the different ways to eat Goddess Dressing. You should be paying attention in accounting class, not thinking about ways to feed your addiction. You shouldn't be ogling 3 pack liters of goddess dressing on amazon because the fact that the seller is sold out throws you into such a deep depression that all you can think about is vegetables and how sad they must be without a dressing bath. I really hope you can overcome this. If not for yourself, then for me.

Love,

Sane Self